Hard Knocks is a TV show on HBO.  It’s like MTV’s  The Real World, except for sports fans.  A swarm of cameras descend on a different NFL training camp each summer, and we get to watch the fireworks.  If we have HBO.  Which we don’t.  So we get to hear about other people watching it, which I’m sure is almost just as good.

This year, the Hard Knocks crew is following the New York Jets and their bombastic coach Rex Ryan.  Rex Ryan is kind of like a cross between – well, it’s hard to say, really – he’s kind of an entity unto himself.  He’s larger than life.  He curses and bellows and lumbers through the frame like a kind of jovial tyrant.  You might be inclined to laugh, but he has an undeniable presence, and his coaching style is undeniably working.  The Jets (to the surprise of absolutely everyone, except maybe Rex Ryan) reached the AFC Championship Game last season.

Ever since the first episode of Hard Knocks aired last week, the sports world has been atwitter with speculation that – wait for it, I swear I’m not making this up – Rex Ryan swears too much.  I am absolutely serious.  There are, out there in the world right this moment, coaches and journalists and pundits and columnists and radio hosts who are seriously debating this question.  The question, if you blacked out or something, is, “Does a head coach in the the National Football League use too much filthy language?”

Today on a well-listened-to radio show, former NFL-coach Tony Dungy was asked about the coarse language.  “It’s hard for me to be around that,” Dungy said. “I personally don’t want my players to be around that.  If I were in charge, I wouldn’t hire somebody like that.”  Dungy was then asked if NFL commissioner Roger Goodell should intervene and tell Ryan to tone it down.  “I would hope that he does,” Dungy said.

At this point, you’re probably thinking, “Wow, this must be some pretty bad language.”  I know that’s what I was thinking. If you didn’t catch it you can watch one of the offending excerpts from the show as Ryan delivers a motivational message to his players.    Go ahead, watch it.  I’ll wait.

Seriously, right?  That was it?  This is what has ignited airwaves and phone lines across the country?  I’m pretty sure I swear that much before I get out of the shower most mornings, and I’m as mild-mannered as they come.  The NFL – the National Football League - is a juggernaut of testosterone.  Professional football can be eclipsed in manliness by nothing, except maybe being a space marine, and that’s not a real thing yet.  It is a game driven by raw emotion and the iron resolve to crush your opponent under the tread of your cleats – and we’re worried about swearing?  Listen, I’m all for civility and fine china and salad forks, but guys, this is football! Violence and coarse language are like fraternal twins!  Do you watch a Lethal Weapon movie so you can see Riggs and Murtagh run after the bad guys shouting, “Excuse me, sir, if it’s not too much trouble could you please pull your vehicle over at the nearest convenience?”  No.  No, sir, you do not.

As this is obviously the most ridiculous thing that anyone has ever brought up in conversation (ever), I duly recommend that we find something new to talk about .  It’s been at least six hours since someone mentioned Tiger Woods.  Also, as an addendum, someone should remove the pole that has apparently been lodged up Tony Dungy’s ass.  Guy must kill at parties.

And because I can’t help it:  fuck.

And also, while Googling how to spell Murtagh I found this link to a set of wedding photos for a couple actually named Riggs and Murtagh.  I wonder which one is which.